what?

1 year

its been exactly 1 year since i posted a blog.
alot has changed and yet it seems im exactly the same.
im currently addicted to and cracking out on history channels ancient aliens.
so good. and you know what? i think i believe almost everything they say.
yea, im an alien theorist. i don't believe in an all powerful god i believe in aliens. i believe they have made and continue to make contact with the human race and play a role in our development or stagnation, which ever you believe the world is going.

anyways its a new year, im hoping for a good one.
still living in San Francisco but im liking it more now than how i was feeling a year ago, can't say that im really in love with it. i want to travel and yet not get out of my bed. strange those are my competing wants and they really don't flow with one another.

i need to start blogging more.
maybe vlog?
would that be weird?

anyways
back to ancient aliens....

want

all i want right now is exactly what i can't have:

sex with my boyfriend

to be in the middle of the woods

maybe going to the zoo tomorrow will make me feel better.

until then i will dream of when i get to move back to the mountains, weather costal or sierra, i need to be surrounded by trees, not building.

i need to hear bugs and birds outside my window. not the heckles of the girl doing whipits upstairs.

i almost forget what crying coyotes sound like. keyword. almost.

they haunt my dreams.

oh yea, and i miss a good sunset.

note to self

when experiencing episodes of mania, just draw. calm will come.

one of those days

itchy eyes, runny nose, lots of work to get done with no motivation. wishing i even had the motivation to get a coffee or go to he beach. or just finish something I've started.

biker

actually I have a clarification the only people i like to smile at are old people. specifically old man bikers the kind that have faded tattoos long grey beards and leather vests.

particularly ones with knuckle tattoos or ones wearing overalls.

i need to start taking pictures of them because they are the only ones who return smiles that or seriously worth the effort.

that bring me to another subject i really need a motorcycle. my Volvo is to big for the city and i think this little rat would just be wonderful.

the only thing im really good at

oh yea and arguing.

I really need to make a shirt that says something along the lines of.....

"fuck off. Im having a great day! but that doesn't mean I have to smile at you"

yea i think that would really suit me