Sunday, June 29, 2008


i got to see the sky. its been too smokey for far too long.

i lifted a tv that no one thought i could lift.

i have to clean up because yvette doesn't no how to clean her fucking batheroom or any of her shit up and decided to leave it for me to clean up.

i need to cut up my fruit.

cook food.

do a photoblog for cassie.

many things that consist of me being by myself.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

fight club

You don’t understand any of it, and then you just die.
This isn’t about love as in caring. This is about property as in ownership.
Anything your ever proud of will be thrown away.
It's easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die.
On a long enough time line the survival rate of everyone will drop to zero.
Mine was a penguin.
Everything is so far away; A copy of a copy of a copy.
This was freedom.
Loosing all hope was freedom.
Look up into the stars and you’re gone.
You big tourist.

today the wagon train is going to pass threw downtown.
i do not want to sit here anymore, but at least i have fight club.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

once i got to the mountain top

I think its time for me to move again. I have pulled all of my recourses from this habitat, and it is no longer sufficient. I need create a new habitat with new inhabitants.

This city is growing cold. Its veins are running dry.

And so are mine.

I need a new activity to occupy my time. Everything has become to mundane to handle.

I can not wait till Jackie returns. Even though its only for a week. It will be a week of bliss. Best friend returning to me like a cool breeze when its 100degrees outside. Ohhh the fruit salads.

This world we live in is ridiculous. People in my family and from my past are crazy. I always thought that people were weird when they said they didn’t like their families but everyday I understand more and more how weird and frustrating the dynamics of my family is. The choices people in my life choose confuse me to no end. There is no reasoning or logic behind the human spirit it seems. I am an ugly duckling in this world. My brain waves flow vertical when the rest of humanity choices to be horizontal. And I back wards or forwards. Everything in this life is so skewed its difficult to understand if I am in the right or the wrong. Is the way my brain flows positive or negative.

When the town burns down what will be left standing. Not I. I will flow away in the breeze with the ash.

This town if full of disease and cockroaches.

They will outlast.

They already have.

I thank the heavens for the virtues they have bestowed on me. If only I could hone and use them for all they are worth. My time has been stunted and I will no longer allow it.

Must force my attributes to grow into and obtain their purposes. No more circles.

If you only new the trials and tribulations I’ve been threw. I only try to give you something your not used to. This is my life.

The cynic.

The realist.

I am going to go tanning today.

I am going to work out today.

I am going out tonight.

I will see Kaitlyn tonight.

I will see Calvin tonight.

I will take pictures for you Cassie.

Must we even understand the solar system? Does it really matter? Shouldn’t we solve the endless problems in our world before we venture to others. I want our world to be taken over by aliens. I want our children to connect to a higher being. I want our world to implode in the infinite abyss. Repetitive.

Dooney & Burke makes really cute fucking bags.

So does YSL. Sad sad thing Yves died.

And don’t get me stated on Marc Jacobs.

Ohhh materialism you dirty cunt you.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

free write

so i dunno if anyone rembers or even did this in their english classes but i rember it fondly. freewrites are starting to be one of my favorite things. its were you jsut write. anything that pops into your head. you just type it away.

this mtv shit is getting old the mtv music awards is on right now and its horrible tihs band is hurting my ears. the poepl are completly nont funny either. the typical comedian isn't really ausing right now. horrible. so i started reading therou today. mallory left it for me at her shop. he talks basically abuot consumerism. and how we constanly are getting new clothes when we don't really need them. like he says that pepole nowadays jsut alwasy change their clothes but they don't need to. its like lying. you only really need to change your clothes if your new or changed. like after you have made a realization. or like had somone died. then you don't really need new clothes. your physical mental have to change in some way. were i agree with him but i also think that when you change yuor clothes it makes you change. like the clothes worn effect the mood and attitude. if your wearing jeans and a tee your attitude and they way you carry yourself would be completly diffrent then if you were weasirng a sexy dress and heels to a club. when you change your clothes it effect your mood. but you can't doude this ameli soundtrack is just like playing in the back of my head right now like if a i have a free second of thought then it jsut pops in. its halarioouse. liek they always have those dumb ass questions about if you could choose a theme song or back ground music to your life what would it bee? ahahah i choose ameli soundtrack. this is rediculouse.


i decided to reate this blog so me and my dear friend cassie could ease the pain of her moving to fucking utah. wich i still stand by thinking its a bad idea but w.e her choices are her choices and unless she starts fucking me over then i will indeed remain one of her friends. and though she has moved hundres and hundredes of miles away from me i still hopes she always thinks of me as one of the best, and also someone she can definetly rely on to speek an opinion.
so because we are no longer going to be around each other for hours on a daily basis, and i will no longer have anyone to talk about my wiernesses with when i become "enhanced", i will now saddly publish all of my wierdness for, in therory, the entire world to read, though it is not intended for the worlds ears.

im going to go run. i shall return.